Happy Friday, Peeps!

From my SparkPeople blog:

I fully intended blogging more during this challenge, but my work week picked up a little bit, and so did my evenings. But I have so enjoyed reading and commenting on my challenge mates' blogs. 

Yesterday was my first day of school. I've never done online classes before, so I'm both excited and nervous. I did the first of three assignments for the week, and that one was super easy! We just had to get on the class discussion board and introduce ourselves to the class. I'd say at this point I'm pretty comfortable on a message board. Thanks Spark! 

I had been experimenting with new tracker this week, since you can go back and forth between them, now, and I really feel like it was giving me too many calories a day. I was always under, because it was recommending 2700-3000 a day! OMG! So I put it back to the old way, and I just let the fitness tracker yell at me for having too many calories burned. Since my FitBit is synced up to it, I rarely go over there anywhere. It's like the online version of sticking my fingers in my ears and shouting "LALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Food has been overall good this week. I've stayed in my calorie ranges, even though a couple of the meals weren't strictly healthy. But that's real life, you know! 

Exercise has been wonderful! I finished the first week of my C25k program yesterday, and I'm looking forward to starting week two. I have realized that I could proably bump the speed up a little, but honestly, I'm going for time more so than distance right now. I'm finishing each session, and that's what I need, just to finish. I can work on speed later. Today's little win was taking two minutes off my stationary bike 10k. My gym has bikes from the Octane brand, and they have a program that instead of doing your workout for X amount of minutes, you just keep going until you "ride" a 10k. today I got it done in 26:35!  

Did a little mid-week peep at the scale, and if I can maintain where it's at until my official weigh-in Monday, I'll have some very exciting news! I should really make my offiical weigh in days on Thursdays. I always have the best numbers on Thursdays! 

Tomorrow I am walking in Richmond's "Moovin' and Groovin' event. There is a 2 miler and a 5k. While I am more than capable of completing a 5k, there is a whole group of ladies from the gym walking in the 2 miler, so I am doing that race with them tomorrow. I'm super excited. If I get out of work on time, I'm going to go ahead and pick up my race packet tonight, so I don't have to fool with it in the morning. 

Welp, my desk is picking back up, so I should go for now. I'll tell you guys all about the race tomorrow. Hopefully all the rain that is falling right now is getting it out of it's system and we have a dry morning! 

Have a wonderful evening, everyone! 
Smooches!! 

Weekend update/Healthy Living Challenge

Today was my HLC kick off. I've been having a lot of fun reading posts and blogs and trying to get to know the people participating. I'm looking forward to the next few weeks!

I'm so close to the 30 pounds down mark. It will be my first major milestone hit, so I was a little bummed when I got on the scale this morning and I was actually three pounds UP this week. I didn't think I flubbed this past weekend that badly, but apparently I did. That's ok, though, I'm just going to keep working the process, and trust that the process with start working for me. I know that slow and steady is better than dramatic anyway. It's like waiting for Christmas morning to come though- when you're this close!

I started a C25k program this morning. It was actually one that I used a few years ago with a small degree of success. I'm so different than I was then, though. I've spent the past four or five months exercising consistently, so I think I'm really ready for such a huge endeavor this time. We shall see, won't me. It certainly felt good to jog this morning, that's for sure! I'm going to have to do Day Two tomorrow, though, because there's a class I want to take at the gym Wednesday, and I won't have time to do both.

Did a little bit of shopping this weekend, and we wandered in to Old Navy, since they were having a killer jeans sale. I knew I really wasn't going to actually fit in any pants in-store, but I went ahead and grabbed a pair of size 20 skinny jeans, and they got up further than I anticipated them going, so I'll take it. Since I couldn't get any jeans, I picked up two pairs of desperately needed work out pants. I was happy this morning when I put on the first pair, and they fit just perfect. Most XXL work out pants I can swing no problem, but these were compression pants, and I wasn't sure how they were going to work. So yipee! New workout clothes. Now it will take me a few days longer before I'm back to being the smelly girl at the gym. (We don't have a washer/dryer in our apartment, so I tend to stretch things a little past when I shoud before hitting the laundromat)

I've been worried about my best friend. She's going through something, and I know she's not in the greatest of places right now. Unfortunately there's really not much I can do until she's ready to reach out, other than just keep reminding her that I'm here for her, and worrying about her. It's tough when you can't help someone you love.

I didn't get everything accomplished this weekend that I wanted to. One of these days I'm really going to get around to cleaning the bathroom. And bathing the cat. I swear it!

the first day of this challenge has gone well, here to many more successful ones! Go Storms!

Catch up post

I've been so neglectful of my little blog here lately. Mostly I've just been busy... getting healthy! After I completed the 10k I still continued going to the gym. I have found that for whatever completely mental reason that going to the gym in the mornings works for me. Cause I'm not a morning person. I have to MAKE myself go to bed early enough to make sure I'm getting at least six hours of sleep. I love the morning ladies, and the morning staff (if you can call the one woman there in the morning staff ;)) I love love love starting my day off on the right foot. It makes it so much easier to make better choices during the day. I love knowing that whatever else happens that day, I made my work out.

The down side was that for a few months I did get caught in that trap of thinking, "I worked out today, so I can eat whatever I want". Couple that with some looooong days/weeks in the office, barely leaving my seat, and the 25 pounds I had lost came right back over to say hi. I like to tell people that I am a walking example that is doesn't matter how much you work out, it really is much more important what you put in your face.

Fast forward to July. I signed up for a four week boot camp at the gym. They gave us a food and exercise journal to track with during the boot camp. Since I didn't want to get out of my morning routine, or give up my sacred mornings, I decided to keep that part of my routine, and just come back for a second dose for the boot camp classes, which were in the evenings. We also had Saturday and Sunday classes. The gym isn't normally open on Sundays, so that was a special thing, just for us. I only ever missed the 15 minute Helix sessions, because they were always full, and the first Monday class (I signed up late, so that class was full by the time I made up my mind to sign up). So I exercised every day, and four times a week twice a day, for an entire month! I was definitely ready for a rest day, and that is not something I could do all the time, but I'm so glad I did it! It really helped jump start me back on program. I also discovered that even though I track on SparkPeople, that the act of physically writing down my food and exercise on paper, seems to really work for me. So even though boot camp is over, I'm still using the journal. It's got something like five months worth of weeks you can fill out. I don't know what I'm going to do when it's full! I'll have to find another one!

So where am I at today? I'm back on a steady losing streak. I'm 27 pounds down as of this past Monday. I'm pretty sure I've never lost this much weight before without backsliding. I'm knocking on the door of 30 pounds lost, which I'm waiting to hit to really get excited. I took a sneak peek on the scale Thursday, and if I don't totally blow it this weekend, then I should be there Monday! I've never been so excited for a Monday before!!

Monday also officially starts a Healthy Living Challenge that I signed up for on one of my SparkPeople boards.I'm really trying to participate. Not just in making sure I do whatever challenges they have for us, but really invest myself in my team and get involved with the other people participating. Maybe I can make some new friends by the end of this.

I'm not a success story yet. Yet. However, I have such a positive outlook, and I want to share it. It's amazing how much just taking care of myself has brought me back to my natural optimistic ways. I know people have to think I'm obnoxious. I can't help it. As cheesy as it seems, it's really in my nature to try and find the silver lining in everything. I'm pretty sure that's why my old team hated me so much at work, because I wouldn't get bogged down in the negativity and commiserate with how "terrible" everything way. Or because I'm a bitch. You know, one or the other.

But that's not why we're here, now, is it? I took a class this morning at the gym. The owner is the instructor ( I soooo want to be her when I grow up) and she calls it Cardio Party. It's just a good, back to basics floor aerobics class. No steps, no equipment, no gimmicks. Just moving your body and having a good time. I got 6,000 steps in that 45 minute class! Then she followed it up with a core class. There is so much joy in just using your body and working up a good sweat. And while I was by no means any kind of coordinated in class, about half way through I noticed that I felt so light on my feet today! What a wonderful new experience! I need to remember that feeling Monday, when I work up the nerve to start a C25k program. It is time. I know it is. I just need to bite the bullet and get over the fear.

I suppose I have rambled on enough for one blog. I'm looking forward to getting back into it, now that I've gotten myself back into a more sane routine. I hope you have a wonderful day!

Chapter Three: Our Heroine Returns and the Ukrop's Monument Avenue 10k

I've been meaning to write before now- the past month, really, but I've been busy getting my fire back! March was a much better month than February. I started going back to the gym with regularity, and getting my food back on track. The food bit isn't as spot on as it should be, but it's better than it was. I've even replaced going to work super early with going to the gym. I get my weights and a little 20 minute jaunt of cardio done in the morning. Then I go back in the evening after work and my for reals cardio in. It's a nice way to bookend my days, and if something comes up and I can't get to the gym after work, I don't feel so bad! I've been going hard for a little while now, probably too hard, but I wanted to make sure that I was ready for the next part of this chapter: the Ukrop's Monument Avenue 10k!



I walked my first 10k today! I've done a couple of 5k's overt the past year, but never a 10. The furthest I've ever walked is when my mom and I accidently took a 5 mile walk on the beach at Nag's Head last year. My bother talked me in to signing up for the race. I had had hopes of trying to run at least parts of it, but my training got way behind when I got off track back in February.

My dad signed up at the last minute and walked the whole thing with me. I think the worst part for me was the sun, I should have worn a visor or something. I also didn't hydrate enough pre-race, so I had a couple of moments where I was a little afraid I was going to get a little heat stroke-y or something. I caught a second wind at the half way point that carried me through to about mile five. The last mile was definitely the hardest! I was overheated, thirsty and tired. But once I saw that finish line I knew it was going to be ok! My official time was 1:59:25. I managed to come in just under my two hour goal!

I had to sit for a few minutes after the race to drink my water. I made the mistake of drinking a Powerade, too, so when I stood back up I had a couple of minutes where I thought I was going to vomit! My feet are definitely sore, but gimpy foot is taking it much better than I thought it would.

The best part was when I saw my best friend, Elizabeth waiting for me at the finish line. I was super touched that she hung around for an hour after she finished to congratulate me! I wish that I had shopped around a little, I want a 10k sticker to put on my car now! I know I didn't run it, but I did it and finished, and for a fat girl, I think that's pretty awesome!






P.S. And I wasn't the last one to finish, which was also super awesome!!

Chapter Two: The Long Dark Night of the Soul

I have really been struggling with the process lately. And I really don't know why. I have seen success following the plan. I feel better, I'm less moody, I have more energy, all the good things. 

So why do I keep sabotaging myself? What is so wrong in my head these days? It's like some kind of crazy little rebellion going on up there. I really have my doubts that this is something that I'm really going to accomplish. I jealously watch the successes of my friends while allowing my feelings of inadequacy mount higher. 

I have given myself every tool and resource for success, why can I not get myself under control? It makes me feel so broken. Is this something that everyone goes through and just never talks about, or am I really just this weak? 

I'm sure it's at least somewhat a self esteem thing. I've never had any kind of real self esteem. I continually put everything else before myself. And I feel selfish when I spend time doing something that only benefits me and isn't earning money, or taking care of my household. And I just can't get those voices out of my head. The ones that remind me that I've failed at everything I've ever done. I just don't know how to fix it. 

I have such a jumbled, tangles snarl of thoughts in regards to myself, I was hoping I could maybe sort of them out this evening. Usually writing things out helps, but I still feel just kind of sad and defeated this evening. 

Not to worry, not to worry, tomorrow I will get up and go to work, which will be promptly followed up a visit to the gym. I'll still keep plugging away, and maybe I'll continue to just keep swapping the same 5-10 pounds out for the rest of my life, but I'll keep fighting the good fight, and hopefully one of these days I'll win a battle or two.

Breakthroughs-or at least chipping away at a the wall

Today was a HUGE day for me. I have always used work in the past as an excuse to cop on the hard stuff, the exercise bit. It's like I would almost jump at the chance to be "too busy" to exercise.

Now, I know I'm only two weeks in to this lifestyle, but I've had several challenges as of late.Friday was a bad day at work where I left an emotional wreck. What I truly wanted to do was go home, cry on my kitty and stuff my face. But I managed to put on my big girl panties and go to the gym and work it out, instead. Tuesday didn't go much better, and today the volume really picked up at work. I could have stayed. Instead, I upheld my appointment with my personal trainer and I left on time and went to the gym.

I have stuck to my calories and exercise for almost two weeks. I have not allowed myself my old luxeries and excuses, and it gets a little easier every day. Is it possible that I am finally turning a corner in this journey? Is it too soon for that? Do I really finally get it in my heart as well as my head?

I suppose only time will tell, but I am SO proud of myself tonight.

Shrinking Saturday One

A couple of months ago, before I fell off the wagon, I was weighing myself on Wednesdays, and I dubbed them Weigh In Wednesdays. I got all the way to 22 pounds down before my resolve finally broke. That seems to be my breaking point. So when I get to that again, I am going to employ all of the good habits I am developing now to push through. 

I am pleased to report that week one was a smashing success! I have been to the gym every day this year, expcept for today, because it is closed. As I added strength training to my regiment yesterday, I'm actually kind of glad for a rest day. However, if they were open, I would be there!  And I may go for a walk later in the day, you never know! But rest days are important, too. I did have a couple of days where because of misjudging portion size, or some other careless error, I went over my calories by 50-100. This is probably one of the few weeks where I could get away with something like that and still get results. And while I'm not new to this little game, there's still a learning curve when you're getting back into the groove. Diet and exercise, it really is the ultimate combination! 

I noticed yesterday, while on the treadmill, that I had to increase my speed because my heart rate wasn't getting up to where I wanted it too. It was only a little bump- 2.8-3.0- but isn't it amazing how quickly the human body adapts? That one little thing there is a sign that my fitness level creeped up just a smidge in only a week! I was a little annoyed at first because I wanted to hit my burn- but I'm really quite pleased with the display of progress. It's motivating, for sure!

And now on to the main event of this post: My weigh in results! I am down nine pounds, for a total from my heaviest recorded weight of 13 lost! YAY!!!

So I'm actually rapidly approaching that fated 22 pounds. Only nine away. This time, though, this time I WILL get through it. I have amazing support from my friends. Especially the ones who are on the same journey as I am. And I really like my new trainer. I need to remember to copy down the measurements she took off of me on our first visit so I can add them to SparkPeople and have that record to keep me going when maybe the pounds aren't so much coming off. It will help me keep perspective in the long haul.

One step at a time.That's how I'll get there.