Once upon a time there was a fed-up fat girl who decided to once and for all to fix it. My name is Diane, and I am that fed-up fat girl. And this is going to be my story.
I have been struggling with trying to lose weight, well, most of my life at this point, but more frequently and seriously over the past two weeks. I've been broken-hearted over watching others succeed while I failed over and over. I've been angry at myself for not being to "get it in gear", and frustrated over my seeming lack of control.
A couple of months ago I started in with public, weekly weigh-ins on my Facebook page. Not quite so public that I was posting my actual weight, but I would post that week's weight loss and the overall total. I hit the 22 pound mark, and, as I am wont to do every time I get to that point, I just sort of checked out. I gained 15 of that 22 back. So a couple of weeks ago I started buckling down on what I was taking with me to work for food, and I discovered after a few weeks of avoiding the scale that I was actually down nine pounds. That was this past Monday, Saturday morning I jumped on the scale to see where I was at, having just signed back up at the gym, I wanted to see my starting point pre-exercising, and every single one of those nine pounds was back. Seriously, WHO THE HELL GAINS NINE POUNDS IN FIVE DAYS??
I think that since I knew that I was going to be going back to regular exercise I must have just given myself a mental free pass to have a week of unadulterated pigging out. I know I ate a bunch of crap last week. But that, I think, has probably been my biggest wake up call of all. Just seeing how scary fast it all comes back.
I genuinely do want to be a healthy person. It's time to pull on my big girl panties and just practice everyday at being healthy. If you practice anything enough times, you eventually become great at it. So its back to one day at a time for me. Who knows, maybe I should post my actual weight every week. I think I'll wait till I'm a little further still from my start weight, but I'm going to go back to weekly results posting. I certainly don't have all the answers, especially those involving how to stick to this thing, so I'm just going to keep practicing.
Because you know what? This is my story. And I refuse for it to become a victim's tale, or a tragedy. There will be tears, for sure, but I'm going to do what I can to make sure that at least the last tears, are tears of victory. Welcome to the beginning of my happily ever after.
You know, in the past, I'd also had a pattern of losing 25-30 pounds or so, and then stopping and gaining it back. The only thing I can say about that is you just get to the point where when you have a bad day, or weekend, or even a week, you know you will get back to it and just jump in where you are. It's a long on-going process and it takes a lot of time, and I know you can do it. You've had a lot of changes to deal with in your life lately, and that makes it harder. So, I would just take it one day at a time. I didn't post a weekly weigh in or anything, but I would definitely post certain milestones. It's good to have people celebrate with you. Hang in there. I have faith in you.
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