Farewell 2013, On to the Next One!

Good evening dear Friends,

It's about 9:00pm on the last night of the year. Looking back on 2013, it's been a good year. It's been my most active year to date, between the gym and my races, I'd say I was actively easily 75% of the year. I started going to the gym in the mornings in March, and it was the best thing I'd ever done. I've never been a morning person, but this just WORKS for me. Plus the morning ladies are AWESOME. I've been getting a pretty virulent case of tonsillitis, so it's been almost a week since I've been to the gym, and I MISS my ladies! I'm super excited to get back in there tomorrow for our New Year's celebration!

In April I did my first 10k, and it was great! Beautiful day, beautiful course, and just an amazing experience. The last mile was a doozy, but I got through it and I was so proud of myself for finishing. The best part was finding out one of my best friends had waited around after she finished to watch me cross the finish line!

A couple weeks later I did my second Ashland Railroad Run 5k. Another great day, this course is so pretty, out in a scenic portion of Ashland. I PR'd the course, taking five minutes off of my 5k time! Great day! I did the race with Elizabeth and her son, even though they are much more experienced runners, so they finished way ahead, it's great to have someone to go to these events with.

The top two are from last year and this year's race. The bottom is my 10k bib!

I did a little two-miler called Moovin' and Groovin' with some ladies at the gym. The summer was pretty quiet. Mom and I did take a girls' long weekend to Nag's Head, our third annual trip and had tons of fun! I'm so lucky that I can have that kind of relationship with my mom.

 I pulled a hip flexor, so I missed The Color Run in September. We lost our kitty in October, that was pretty rough. Then we ended up rescuing a a 14-week old kitten. We named him Jean-Luc. At this point he's five months old and 10 pounds of fun!

Sue

Jean-Luc

In November I last minute signed up for the 8k portion of the Richmond Marathon. This race ended my streak of nice race weather. It was cold and wet, so I was more proud of finishing this race than I was the 10k- even though it's a mile shorter! Elizabeth did her second half-marathon, so I hung out until she finished, it was a great day!

And finally, in December, we did the Tack Light Run. Once again, cold and wet, but it was still fun! And oh yeah, I was Richard Simmons for Halloween!

\I'm really looking forward to what next year has to bring. I've registered for the next 10k already, and even the half-marathon in November! I've got 11 months and 15 days to get my butt in gear! Wish me luck and thanks for all your support!

Spread the love, not the hate

I was flipping through Facebook on my lunch break, and I run across this status from Molly Galbraith on my feed:

 

"When we have grace and compassion for our own bodies, then we afford that same grace and compassion to others. We don't need to insult anyone's body to feel better about our own."

 

I love this. So I shared it with a shorter version of what this will probably become. Spark even recently highlighted an article that Molly wrote on this topic, which is what led to my following her on Facebook.

 

All of these thinspo, fitspo, etc. posters and memes and how they claim "real" women (or men, for that matter) look need to stop. I'm sick of being told I'm less of a person because I don't have a six-pack (and I never will without surgery, even after the weight is gone) or my thighs touch and my belly wobbles. There's some girl out there in Facebook land, she's overweight and has pink hair and she works out with just a sports bra on, sans shirt. And I think she's brilliant. I wish I had half her guts. Because it doesn't matter what she looks like. She's getting it done.

 

We're all different and we need to stop shaming each other into a certain size or appearance. Lose weight for you and your health. Get fit for your heart and that glorious sense of accomplishment. Lift for your bones and your metabolism. Not because some airbrushed model on a poster told you you're less of a woman because you don't. But because you love yourself.

 

Don't get me wrong. I still struggle, daily, with my outward appearance. I know in my soul that it doesn't matter how I look. My mom, husband, friends all love me for me. I know that my real reason for getting healthy is because my family's history of dying young scares the bejesus out of me. Also, because when we do make that leap to parenthood I want the best chances of having a healthy, uneventful pregnancy and birth, and I want to teach my kid to have a healthy relationship with food by leading through example. But there's always a mirror, window or other reflective surface somewhere that I pass that catches me the wrong way, or some article of clothing is fighting with me and making me feel like the world's ugliest oompa loompa. I also have days (like today, surprisingly, even though my dress is making me uncomfortable because I swear its getting shorter by the hour!) where I think that maybe I don't look so bad after all. I had a thought today that my legs are starting to actually look good! Tomorrow may be a totally different story. But ultimately, I'm not doing it for my legs. I'm doing it for my whole body, especially the bits inside that you can't see and can't be measured by a dress size.

 

My point is this. We need to empower each other for a change, and stop having pissing contests to see who is the "most woman". We compete so hard with each other. What if we spent that energy in building each other up? I'm not saying you have to like everyone, but you also don't have to tear down anyone. I wouldn't have gotten even this far if it wasn't for some of the unconditional love and support I've had from my family, friends and fellow gym members.

 

The people who insist on calling me a runner, even though I'm just jogging short intervals. Folks who ask me how much weight have I lost now, when there's no possible way I look any different at that moment. The ones who insist on calling me pretty when I know they're just biased cause they've known me half my life. Hearing someone is impressed or inspired by me, when I still have so so far to go in my journey. This is the positive reinforcement we need to start embracing. I forget sometimes, but I try to tell at least one person everyday something positive. Even if it's just that I like their shirt. Positive breeds positive, and when you are surrounded by positivity, you thrive. We all do. And the world gives back what you put into it.

 

Thanks for letting me rant. Now go out there and spread some positive karma! Love you guys!

HCA Virginia 8k

I did an 8k this morning! It was part of the Richmond Marathon. There's an 8k, Half Marathon and Full Marathon. I had intended to run this race, and I kept talking about it for a while, but I kept not having the money for the entrance fee. Thursday morning at the gym I really got hit with a case of race fever. I had been talking to my buddy who was running the marathon; it was her last workout before the race today, and there were a couple of other ladies who were doing the Half, and talking to all of them, it just really made me realize that I needed to do this; I knew if I didn't I would be really disappointed in myself so I went down to the expo that evening and signed up! I'm so glad there were still open spots! It was so hard to sit at work all day Friday with all of my excitement about the race!

I got up at five this morning and ate some peanut butter and banana on a slice of rye bread. I'm going to have to start having that for my breakfast before my morning workouts, it was very filling and sustaining! My race didn't start until seven, but I left my house at about ten to five because I was nervous about finding a place to park downtown. It was dark, rainy and I swear half the intersections downtown aren't labeled! I never did find the street I was looking for, which was supposed to have several open lots. I did find some street parking beside a library. There was a sign that said 30 minute parking from 8am to 6pm, but most of those only apply on weekdays. I was so frazzled by that point I didn't care! I figured the worst case is I'd get a ticket. It turned out to be a nice place to park, about halfway between the start and finish areas. I'm going to have to try and remember that for next year.

I got to my corral with about 20 minutes to spare- whew! And it started to rain! I'm so glad I wore this cheapo sweatshirt, it got soaked instead of me. I ditched it about a half mile or so in, it was so heavy the sleeves were hanging a few inches below my hands! They collect the discarded items at the end of the race and donate them to a homeless outreach. The rain stopped fairly early into the raced, and it would drizzle here and there, but nothing like it was at first. The misting like that was actually kind of refreshing and kept me from licking my lips! I had a hiccup with RunKeeper, so it thinks my first mile was a four minute mile-hilarious! My goal was to finish in 90 minutes.

I felt like I was keeping a pretty steady pace. Mile two felt like it flew by! Mile three was a little harder because parts of the street were fairly hilly. I was very happy to see the mile four sign! I realized, though, that I was actually feeling pretty good. My legs were feeling strong, my lungs were holding up and I was breathing hard, but not panting. Gimpy foot was still feeling good, too! The only problem I was really having was walking so long in wet socks, some of my toes have some minor blisters on them from it. And my toenails hurt. Sounds weird, I know, it happens sometimes on longer walks.

The last quarter mile or so is great. It's all down hill! I actually jogged that in off and on because the momentum just kind of grabs you. I was afraid to go too fast, though, because I didn't want to faceplant right at the very end! I crossed the line and got my medal feeling great! This was me about three or four minutes after the finish. I was so hot I was literally steaming!

I hung out and waited for my best friend Elizabeth to finish her race. She was running in the half. I had about an hour and a half to wait, but I had a really nice spot between the finish line and where they hand out the medals. It kind of rained intermittently, and I got SUPER cold after having been  there for so long. I ran across Elizabeth's husband, and we met her after she finished. We had some fruit and hung out for a few minutes before it was time to leave. She beat her time last year, I'm sooooo proud of her! What an inspiring friend to have in my life!

Elizabeth and I with our medals

I finished in 88:56! I'm so happy I beat the goal I set for myself! And of course, while you never know what would happen, doing the rough math I realized that I probably took a good ten minutes off of my 10k time from the spring! How amazing is that! And I really didn't train for this race. What a difference six months of consistent exercise makes in your life! I was so blown away when I realized that. I was right, this race was definitely the right decision to me to make! And by the way, I've been wearing my medal ALL day! Around the house, to PetCo and the grocery store! I did end up taking a nap for a little while after I showered. My quads are starting to feel the not-quite five miles and gimpy foot is getting stiff, so tomorrow morning might be interesting, however I am in worlds better shape than I was after the 10k. I'll take all the victories I can get!

It's not a great shot, but the best I can come up with right now. ;)

Thanks as always, for your support!

Relief and Other Things

Well, I'll start off with the best news. As the mortgage industry is wont to do, business has dried up a little bit with the rise in interest rates, which inevitable means lay-off. Thankfully, my area survived this round intact today. There are more potential lay-offs coming, possibly through the first quarter next year, so while we're not safe, we're ok for now. It's been a tense day. And I haven't used food to cope or celebrate, either! 

In other happy news, I've been making more of a concentrated effort to get this train a-moving on down the track. I'm working on doing different things and pushing myself harder on the familiar ones at the gym in the mornings, as making sure I track ALL day again. I'd gotten really bad about being on point during the day, and letting myself get derailed on the nights/weekends. Gotta buckle back down so I can hit my 40 pounds lost mini-goal! 

I stayed in calories last night, which was exciting. Monday night was a challenge, becuase the meal I had planned out couldn't happen. I got the salmon out of the fridge, and it had gone bad. So had the pork chops. We don't usually let food go to waste like that, so it was upsetting on that level, too. I ended up fixing us some Butoni cheese tortillini's and alfredo sauce. Which wouldn't be bad under different circumstances, but I was on a tight calorie budget by the time dinner rolled around. I've made adjustments to my lunches so I have more wiggle room in my calories. I really needed to cut back on lunch portions anyway, this was just the catalyst I needed. 

When I set my new weight loss goal up here it readjusted my calories, and it's taken me some time to get used to the new numbers. Personally, I thought it was set waaaaay too high anyway, not that it ever stopped me from taking advantage of that!  

I always seem to slide a little when I get close to a big goal. It's like stage fright or something. Definitely something I'm working on, one day at a time. 

On Wednesday mornings we have an off-the-schedule class. It's not "official" because if the lady that runs it is off that day, it doesn't happen. We do different stuff every week, from a weight circuit, walking outside in the parking lot, rotating stations, all kinds of stuff. This morning we did what she called "Trekking" which is speed and "incline" intervals on the elliptical. At one point she had us holding hands with our neighbors, as a way to work on core strength by not using the elliptical handles. And she took pictures. 

This is most of us: 
 

This is a closer one with me in it. I'm in the middle, in the blue shirt: 
 

We worked up a great sweat! I bought some little 8oz boxes of Horizon organic chocolate milk. I've been hearing lots of interesting things about how chocolate milk is actually a great post-workout snack. I tried freezing one last night, and then letting it thaw out in my gym bag, but it was still basically a milkshake! So I think tonight, I'm going to pull one down from the freezer and stick it in my lunch bag in the fridge, and see if it doesn't thaw out and warm up too much. It's shelf stable, so I would imagine that even if it does warm up, its not going to go bad, it just won't be as refreshing. 

My goal for tomorrow is to get some jogging intervals in. If all goes well, I will be picking C25k back up on Monday. My first trial run was successful, so here's to hoping round two will be as well! 

Have a great day!! 

Diane: Now with 10% Less Packaging!

I just realized that I never wrote anything about hitting my first goal yesterday! With all of my kitty drama, I've been a little out of my mojo for the past week. Today, almost exactly to the hour that I'm writing this, a week ago, my whole little world changed. It's getting a little better every day, although today is unexpectedly hard. I didn't realize that would happen. Compound that with my second class for this new Bachelor's starting up last Thursday, and you get plenty of distraction!

In a way it's kind of a surreal feeling. The scale has been bouncing around so bad, it's very hard for me to give myself this credit, especially when I know it's probably going to be higher again next week. This inconsistency makes me feel like I did really earn the credit I'm giving to myself. I really do need to re-focus and really work on making strives to start pushing myself again. I also need to sign up for the 8k next month, I've been putting it off and putting it off. Some of it is justified- 40 bucks is a whoooole lot of money for us right now. But I've gotten so complacent, this will be a much needed kick in the pants.

I'm considering, Saturday or Sunday, going to the park down the road and hitting their 5k course and making two circuits of it. (Anyone want to join me?) I'm really not overly interested in achieving race pace, or setting a PR for myself or anything , but I think it would be good for knocking the cobwebs off and getting over this little bit of fear I seem to have acquired after the whole hip flexor incident. I've let it derail my running program. I think it just shook my confidence up.

Wow, this blog has gone in a totally different direction than I expected it to! I'm actually even more excited now for the next three pounds to come off. That will put me at a nice even 40 pound loss. What a big round number that is to me. In so many ways I don't feel like I've really done all that much. Not to deserve a nice fat number like 40. I always feel like I should be doing more. Being more consistent. Resisting temptation more. Being less lazy. I see all my flaws and all the bumps in the road, and I suppose that diminishes my accomplishments in my eyes. Aren't we always our own harshest judges?

This also brings me to a point I always mean to write a blog about. At what point do you stop thinking of yourself as a lazy person? The rational part of my brain knows I'm not lazy. I get up at 4:45 every morning, Monday through Friday, and I work out, then go to my job for eight hours, I come home, get the gym and lunch bags read y for the next day, sometimes I cook, sometimes I'm doing classwork, sometimes it's dishes, or even just spending a little time with the hubby. There are people in my life who tell me that they don't see how in the world I do so much everyday, or say that I have more energy than anyone they know. Don't get me wrong, I can be unabashedly lazy on the weekends. I have days where I'm lucky to break a thousand steps, and nothing on my weekend to-do list gets accomplished. It's these days, I guess, that really reinforce in my crazy little brain all that chatter that maybe I haven't really changed after all.

Wow, this is a lot of emotional diarrhea, I wasn't expecting all that to come out. I was expecting to do a verbal happy dance over my 10%. I would suspect that being on the precipice of a truly monumental life change is bringing out more of a reflective side than a celebratory one. I've never really been successful at anything before. Its a strange and scary scary feeling to leave behind who you once were for so long. To give up these ideas of what you can and can't do. To revamp how you consider yourself. I certainly did not go quietly into the good night of self-improvement. I met this new phase of my life with much less grace and verve than I have tackled other things. In fact, there have been times that to call it kicking and screaming would be mild. Yet, on the other side of this coin, some things just came surprisingly naturally. Like learning that I'm a morning exerciser. Giving up soda. Rediscovering my optimism (which I'm sure sounds like a big fib right this second). Learning to trust myself. It's certainly been an adventure.

Well, here's to the next three pounds and beyond. Cheers!

The Story of My Good Kitty

So this is my super sad blog (and long), read at your own peril. I don't even know why I'm writing this, other than I'm hoping that it will help me start healing. It's definitely going to take some time. A lot of time. 

Back in 2005, I had a beagle. Because I was gone for close to 12 hours a day, and was living in a small downtown apartment with a roommate that didn't interact with him much, I ended up giving him to a good family with kids and a huge backyard. It was one of the worst decisions I ever made. It was almost a decade a go, and it's still my biggest regret in life. About a month or two later the horrible, horrible relationship I was in thankfully ended. And a month or two after that, I decided that I needed a new cat. My previous one had been gone for about a year and a half, I didn't have my dog anymore, and while I had a roommate and her cat, I needed my own fur baby. I had been saying for a while that I would love to get my hands on a flame-pointed Himalayan (Himmy's are a cross breed of Persians and Siamese). 

Mom and I went wondering around a couple of places. We hadn't gone to a shelter yet, that was on the books, but we happened to find ourselves over near a PetSmart, so we went in and checked out the kitties. We didn't see any that immediately caught my eye, but suddenly a lady volunteering there out of the blue asked me if I didn't happen to be looking for a Himalayan. Well, hello! She proceeded to tell me about how she had nine cats, and her Himmy was the oldest and her favorite, but she had noticed how unhappy she was as of late. She was walking around with her tail down, and just seemed sad. So she was looking to re-home her. We agreed that she would bring her over for a trial visit and see if we had chemistry. 

Well, the lady showed up much earlier than I expected on the day we decided, so she was already there when I got home. They had let her out of her carrier, and she immediately went into hiding under our side table. The minute I came in and set down, the beautiful seal-pointed Himalayan came out and went right to me. We belonged to each other at first sight, and Sue was mine. She was 10, supposedly pure bred, although I never got the papers from her first owner, and I don't care enough about things like that to follow up with her. She had brought all of Sue's things, so she was mine from that night. 

Through the years Sue has seen me through healing from that terrible relationship, moving, being so broke we went about a week or so with no electricity, losing an apartment, living with my mom, trying to live with the aforementioned roommate a second time, this time with an obnoxious dog and a cat that hated Sue, finally landing in my then boyfriend-now husband's apartment. Losing friends, losing jobs, and so much more. She has been my constant companion. 

She had such a big personality. With the Siamese in her, she always let you know how she was feeling. I could have whole conversations with her. Sometimes I think she just talked to her herself talk. She didn't like to be held, but she liked to be touching you or sitting on you. She liked to sleep on pillows with you. I kid you not, if she didn't get her way she sulked. She refused to drink out of a bowl. Before we bought her a water fountain, she would make every attempt to out of cups. And the sink, the tub and the toilet. In fact, her last night, I was afraid she wouldn't wander her way into the kitchen, so I left a small glass for her on the floor of the living room. She wasn't a cat, she was a people, plain and simple. 

So Tuesday night, after she tried to beg her way into some of our salmon from our dinner, I gave her a couple of treats, and I went back to the bedroom to sprawl out on top of the bed to read. Hubby brought her in and she curled up on the bed beside me and went to sleep. About a half an hour later she started twitching, and I figured she was dreaming, then it got a little worse, so I tried to wake her up. Suddenly she rolled half way over and I could tell it was a fully blown seizure. Which she's never had before. After it ended she spent about ten minutes panting and kind of catatonic. I held her through the whole thing. And she just never really came back. I held her until she tried to get down, and once I put her down, she spent the rest of the evening just wandering the apartment. She was so restless. And she didn't respond to her name, or to pettings. Her motor skills were really bad, she was tripping over things she wouldn't normally. She was getting "stuck" in places that she should have been able to get out of. She would walk up to a wall or a corner until her face touched it and just stay there. I don't think she slept that entire night, I think she just roamed the apartment non-stop, unless she got "stuck". Which was the only time she uttered a peep after that seizure. Very decidedly NOT Sue behavior. 

Because it was so late, we tried to sleep. When my alarm went off I got up and saw she wasn't any better, and knew what we had to do. And if it was just her motor skills, I could have handled a disabled cat. But her Sue-ness was gone. Whatever broke in her poor little kitty head robbed her of herself. 

She was my Good Kitty. And now I have a giant, Sue-shaped hole in my heart. Because it was so sudden and unexpected, it's been hard on the hubby and I, but I'm glad she was not sick for a long time, and she never seemed to ever be in pain that last night. I will always be grateful for that small favor. We keep "seeing" her in her favorite spots, or expecting to trip over her, since she loved to be underfoot and stop directly in front of you. I keep trying to accidentally kick her food bowl as I did every time I went to the fridge. 

I knew it was going to be hard. I would try and prepare myself, she was 18, after all. And I won't lie, I had the strongest feeling a few days ago that she wasn't going to make it through the winter. I just wasn't ready for it to be yesterday. Are you ever? I had no idea it was going to be this hard. But hey- I've only had to run to the restroom once so far this morning! I went ahead and dragged myself out of bed and made it to the gym, and now work. I am armed with plenty of tissues and minimal eye makeup. I haven't slept much the past two nights. I know it will get better with time, I just feel so raw today. 

Thanks for listening, I knew I needed to get my feelings out there and written down. Oh, my poor heart. And my poor Good Kitty. I miss you so much. 

My Good Kitty: 
 

The Salad Blog

I made a salad Thursday that was so epic, it needed its own post.

I've been kind of disorganized this week. What that really means, is for the past couple of days, I haven't packed a lunch. Or breakfasts. Or snacks. I keep some organic instant oatmeal at my desk, for times such as this. And yesterday I threw a can of Amy's Summer Corn Chowder soup into my purse for lunch. Today, however, I didn't do that. So I went to the grocery store down the street and raided the salad bar. And raid I did. I made a ten dollar salad. That's right. Ten. Dollar. Salad. Want to know what a ten dollar salad looks like? 

 

It’s got lettuce, spinach, red cabbage, carrots, zucchini, celery, radish, chickpeas, feta, cucumber, three bean salad and red pepper vinaigrette. There may be one or two other things on there. I can't remember. It was awesome, though. I sat at one of the tables out in front of the store, enjoyed the beautiful weather and the beautiful salad. I still need to eat my gorgeous MacIntosh apple. (my fav!!) 

Tracking this thing is going to be an epic nightmare. And I loved every bite. 

Not doing that anymore!

We all know I have a problem with evenings and weekends, really, any unstructured day. This weekend wasn't terrible, or at least, Saturday wasn't. We had a surprise birthday party for my mom, and I really didn't eat all that terribly. The party was at my cousin's house, who is married to a doctor, so there was fruit salad and regular salad with a homemade italian dressing, whole wheat hot dog/hamburger buns, etc. I made a cake for my mom and we had that. Of course I got stuck bringing what was left home. Which brings us to Sunday. 

Oh, Sunday. We were not friends, you and I. Of course, "I'll take the cake to work on Monday" rationale didn't happen. I ate a good chunk of that leftover cake Saturday night/ Sunday. In fact, I'm tossing what's left out this evening when I get home from work. I just can't do this anymore. 

I had all kinds of other crap yesterday, and boy am I paying for it today. I was heartburny last night/ this morning. I love starting my day by burping acid. (I know, TMI, sorry). Of course my tummy is very sad this this morning. I just feel kind of gross and icky. I haven't even had much of an appetite, but I've been eating my good, normal food all morning, because I know that's the best thing I can do for myself at this point. I had very little water to drink all weekend, so I'm feeling those effects, too. 

I know we all have these moments, where we go temporarily insane. I know this doesn't define me, or ruin the past six months of hard work. It's been a while since I've felt this bad physically over poor nutrutional choices, though. I looked at my sad state this morning, and I realized, nothing I ate tasted good enough to feel this crummy over. It's not even a mental thing at this point, where I'm resolving to "stay strong next time". It's logic, common flaming sense. I'm not beating myself up over my choices, I'm just taking a live and learn approach to this. 

I'm going to say it again. There is NOTHING in this world that tastes good enough to feel this way. NOTHING. 

I'm going to go ahead and go back to my mostly vegetarian, whole grain diet, and hang out there. It's much more comfortable and friendly over here. Before I had my hot dog Saturday night, I hadn't had meat in three days. Of course, things like seafood exist, so I don't know that I'll ever make the full transition. I think I love my fish too much. That's another tangent for another day, though. 

I know there will still be days in my future I will over induldge. It's just kind of the human nature. And I have no intentions of living a spartan lifestyle. But the longer I stay this course, the more by second nature I look at something and assess it. And now that I know better, it's hard not to do better. It's hard to look at something anymore and NOT see its nutritional value (or lack thereof). It slowly gets harder and harder to allow myself to get swept up in a moment and use it as an excuse to ignore what I've taught myself. And I'm proud of this. 

I know there's got to be people in my life who are just sick to tears of my gym check-ins, and food stuffs, and obnoxious positive feel-good "posters". So far no one's said anything to the contrary, and honestly, that's what the hide and un-friend buttons are for. I know I have to come off as pretentious and holier-than-thou when I'm really riding a good streak. But I really believe that one of the keys to this, that have made this attempt so much more successful, is that the more public I have made my journey, my struggles, my successes, the more accountability I have. And also the more support I have. There is no way, in a thousand lifetimes, that I can either express or repay how much the overwhemingly huge amount of support I have out there means to me. Plus, I just want to share this immense feeling of joy that I have reclaimed in my life. I want to help people feel the way I feel most of the time. I am naturally optimistic. I forgot that for a long time, but now that I've found it again I love being a force for positive. 

Well, I see that I have rambled far and away from my original point. but that's ok too. If you've hung in this long, thanks! The point being, that I may not have had a successful weekend, however, I have learned something from it. Which means that it was not a failure. 

Have a great day, friends! 

Working on an Action Plan

I've really kind of let things slide lately, not as much on the losing weight bits, but kind of just in general. I did get out of control this wekeend, when it comes to food and exercise. Too much of one and none of the other. But I know that happends to everyone from time to time. The important thing is that I picked myself up by my britches and got back on the Path of the Righteous Man this morning. 

I got kind of lazy about cooking and cleaning too. Which just kind of added to the general funk I was in over the weekend. The last thing for me was how undisciplined I let myself get about spending. I was riding the high tide of overtime, and now that I don't have that anymore, I've been struggling. 

We were doing so well about putting money away so we can get out of this crap hole of an apartment we live in. I don't even care about buying something anymore, I'll rent somewhere else, I just want out. But I kind of short circuted somewhere in there, and went from doing such a beautiful being in control of myself, so now we've gone and blown through what we had. Neither one of us are to blame. It just happened. But it upsets me that (I feel like, anyway) I let it happen. And like so many other things, I tried to recoup my loses, but I wasn't able to. So now we start back at square one. There are certainly worse places to start out at, but I'm not happy with the situation. 

So I thought I would combine my weight goals and my money goals into a winter long project. I call it "Project New Spring Wardrobe". The premise is a simple one: no new clothes until Spring, when hopefully I'll HAVE to buy them, because all the things I just packed away for the winter won't fit anymore. I'm going to officially kick off Project NSW on October 1st and run it through March 31st. 

Logically, I don't need any new clothes. I just put out plenty of wonderful things that filled my half of the closet, and provide me with plenty of variety for the season. I am going to make two exceptions: I need a pair of skinny jeans to wear with some boots that I already had purchased. And I would like a few more pair of flat dress shoes/boots for the winter. I have a bunch of cute heels and booties, but with the hip flexor issues I've been having, I need to stay out of the heels for a while, I feel. 

Some stratigem I have written out includes: a motivation jar set. I don't know what you really call it, but I've seen it a couple of times on Extreme Weight Loss. You take two jars and one jar you put in how many marbles for how much weight you want to lose, one marble equals one pound. As you lose weight you transfer the marbles into the second jar, and you can watch your progress. Plus there's something very satisfying about having that tactile reinforcement that you're making progress by moving the marbles around. My other plan is that when I feel the urge to shop, I'm going to take that money that I would have spent and dump it into my savings account. To either be used for the new Spring clothes, or for moving money. This way I can get use out of the clothes I already have, and save some money in the long run! 

Here are the particulars of Project NSW: 
Duration: 6 months- Oct 1-Mar 31 
Realistic Goal: 60 pounds 
Make My Day Goal: 70 pounds (this would get me to the 100 pounds lost total mark) 
Current Size: 24 
Goal Size: 18 (This one's hard, because you never know how your body is going to shrink or not. I mean, I'm down 30 pounds and STILL in all the same clothes.) 

I'll update all my trackers and what not next Tuesday on the 1st. Wish me luck, and thanks for listening to my ramble! 

Nag's Head, the doctor and monthly gym weigh in

Hello there!

It's been awhile, and I've been a busy little bee!

Saturday, Mom and I went down to Nag's Head for our third annual Mother/Daughter Birthday Bash weekend. I know, I'm a total nerd, going on vacation with my mom instead of hubby. I love though, that I can have such an awesome friendship with my mom. I know I'm super lucky, not everyone can hang out with their mom like that.

The weather couldn't have been better. Of the three years, this was definitely the best. Low 80's, low humidity and all sun. The water was sooo cold, but we did get in a couple of times. So much sand down our swimsuits!! I got a little burnt, but nothing like last year's epic sunburn where I was incapacitated for a few days. My poor Scottish skin was just not made for the sun- even with SPF 50! We didn't even get in the pool there this year, we spend some much time on the beach.

Monday we went to the Bodie Island Lighthouse. We did the whole tour and everything. We went all the way up to the top! All 219 stairs up! I love stuff like that. I could have sat and listened to them talk about the lighthouse's history all day long.

After the lighthouse we went over to Pea Island, which has a bird sanctuary. Both times we've been, the beach has been basically deserted. Which is strange, but really neat all at the same time. It makes for great shell hunting! I found out some friends were down there at the same time, so we hung out for a little while on Pea Island and caught up.

We ate at our favorite restaurant, The Black Pelican, and found a new place to love, Miller's Waterfront. I had the most amazing medium rare tuna steak with a soy ginger glaze. *drool*. We went for one last stroll on the beach before we headed back home Tuesday.

This morning I had an OB appointment. Last year this appointment was a disaster. I hit my highest weight ever, and had a total breakdown in her office. So I was a little nervous going back in again today. This year's appointment went much better. She was very pleased with my 30 pound loss, and my blood pressure was so much lower than it was last year. She did notice a possible cyst in one of my breasts, and we both agreed that with my family history it wouldn't be a bad idea to go ahead and have a mammogram. I always figured that I would end up getting one earlier than most people, again, because of the history of breast cancer on my mom's side of the family. She told me not to worry, if she thought it was something to truly be concerned about, she would have sent me straight away to a breast specialist today. Hubby is not thrilled about this news, but he's a bit of a worry-wort anyway.

I also had my monthly weigh in at the gym today. I tried to do it last week BEFORE vacation, but my trainer got sick, so we had to do it this week. My weight was down from my last check in with her, but up a little from last Friday. My inches were down, but my favorite thing was that my body fat percentage was down by 4%! While I would like to see my weight drop more, I'm so excited to see good progress finally!

I'm totally enjoying my week off of work, and I'm glad I got to get some rest and relaxation in (don't worry, I'm still working out and being mindful of what's going in my face!). I hope you're having a wonderful day!

How Morning Exercise has Changed My Life

Let me just open this by saying- I am in no way a morning person. I struggle some days to get into bed before 11 so I'm not hating life the next day. (Other days I'm so tired, its lights out by 9:30!) I've always been a night owl, even when I was little. My grandmother says I come by it honestly, she still stays up half the night reading, and she's approaching 80. 

The short version of the beginning is that somewhere around Thanksgiving last year, I started showing up at work at 6:00am. I had just taken over as team lead, and I felt like I was in a constant state of being underwater with my work. We were in a mandatory overtime situation, and with my new duties I was struggling to make my quota every day with the amount of traffic I now found at my desk. The hubby had begun working at Amazon, so his alarm was already going off at 4:45, so I just started getting up with him. 

Around the end March I realized that I needed to cut back. I was in the office, at my desk from six in the morning until seven or eight at night. I even ate there. I got up to pee or attend meetings. That was it. So one Friday morning I decided to try an experiment. I got up at my usual 4:45, put on my gym clothes and spent the next hour at the gym. "I like this", I said. "I could do this". It was fairly quiet in there. There's almost always a machine of your choosing available. There's even a few early morning classes. The ladies this early seemed pretty nice too. There's a place in the locker room with a wall-long mirror and shelf and outlets for hair dryers, etc. The morning gals have dubbed it the "Diva Bar" because it's where we put our faces on to get ready for the day. 

So I kept it up. I'm not beginning my sixth month of being an early morning exerciser. And surprisingly, it works for me. I actually love it. It both gives me a sense of relief and accomplishment that by 7:00am I have usually gotten half or more of my day's steps in. I've sweated. I've worked my body. I got it DONE. It gives me my sense of pride back in myself. I love starting the day holding my head up high. 

I can only find a couple reasons to not work out in the morning, and they are usually bogus and easily squashed. I rarely even have the "I need to get some extra sleep because...." arguement anymore. If I wait until the end of the day, I could find 503 reasons to not go. And wouldn't. 

I find myself more motivated and alert for the rest of the day. I have more drive and energy. This has snowballed into even getting the guts to go back to school for my second Bachelor's degree. 

I'm a much more pleasant person after I have exercised. When I get it knocked out in the morning, I can carry it with me throughout the day. It's helped restore me to my natural obnixous state of being the eternal optmist, always looking for the silver lining to things. 

Most of all, I have begun to find myself again. I go though my day with such a sense of peace and fulfillment. I know I have done the right thing for me, and ultimately my husband and at some point in the nearish future, Hypothetical Kid. I have my self assurance and confidence back. My GLOW. 

I can't go back now. I have watched the sun rise on my treadmill and I have seen the light. 
Good morning, life! 

Homemade Date Night

Hey- it can't all be about fitness and weight loss, right? Life certainly isn't!

Last night I got a wild hair up my rear and decided I was going to make a special dinner for the hubby and I. No reason, just cause. So I stopped by Whole Foods and picked up some fun stuff. Definitely had a splurge night in the Grady household. 

Fancy dinner started with fancy salad, made with and organic herbed baby greens mix from Earthbound Farms. I added some mushrooms and edible flowers. It was a tasty salad. I didn't notice any different flavor from the flowers, but it was pretty to look at! I steamed some asparagus for a side, as well 

 

I semi-homemade some marinara sauce. Took canned crushed tomatoes and added it to sauteed onion and garlic, threw in some white wine and spices and it turned out pretty good, I think. Hubby said it was the best marinara he had ever had.  I put the marinara on fresh garlic parsley linguine (that I did not make) and added pan-seared shrimp and sea scallops. I also toasted the lovely organic tuscan bread, rubbed with garlic and butter in the oven. And of course there was a lovely vidal blanc to drink with it, from one of my favorite wineries: New Kent Winery. 

 

I'm excited to see how the leftovers taste, now that that marinara has had time to marinate. I went a little over board last night, but it was so good! I was surprised I was hungry this morning after all of that! Sometimes you need to live a little. And it's good to celebrate each other sometimes. It made me happy to surprise hubby with a nice thing that I made.  

On 30 Pounds

WOW! I didn't think I was EVER going to hit this one! I've been waiting anxiously for a couple of weeks for it, because this is the most weight I've ever lost in one go. I am now only six pounds away from having lost 10% of my original starting weight, which is my first major SparkPeople goal! I talked about this a little bit in a message board post on my Healthy Living Challenge board this morning. I chose 10% as my first goal, because that's where you start seeing the real health benefits. SP has a great article bout losing 10% of your body weight:  http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/wellness_articles.as p?id=528

 I'd like to profess that maybe I've finally gotten the hang of this thing, but I don't want to jinx myself. I'm still struggling with most the weekends now. Even my evenings have gotten much better. I still have that urge when I first get home to make a run for the pantry and find something to snack on, but if I pet the kitty, go straight to the bedroom, pet the kitty, repack my gym bag, pet the kitty, get tomorrow's gym clothes laid out, and change into my civies, and of course- pet the kitty (she's very needy when I first get home) by the time I make it to the kitchen to fix my breakfast/lunch/snacks for the next day, I'm usually good. If not, I'll grab the orange I keep in the fridge (and replace it with a new one) for just that very reason. I think not having a schedule on the weekends end up being my undoing. And I do still fall victim to the "well I've done great all week and worked hard- I deserve a reward!" I need to remember the words of a lady from the gym about what junk food not being any kind of reward for your body. I've gotten up "early" the past couple of Saturdays to be active, and I think that really puts me on the right path for the day. I'm definitely one of those people who is motivated by a good start.

 So, what have I learned in 30 pounds: -consistancy pays far more dividends than random spurts. -bad days happen, one meal/crappy workout is not going to ruin a week of good work. Just like a week of good work is not going to reverse years of bad habits. -just showing up doesn't cut it after a while. You really do have to push yourself out of your comfort zone to see real results. -support is everything. Between SparkPeople, my gym family, my family and friends and making this whole thing a public affair on Facebook, not only have I given myself tons of accountability, but also tons of support. It's that support that I can never thank anyone enough for, and the only way to pay it back it to pay it forward.

Movin' and Groovin' 2 miler

Good Saturday evening!

I did my first walk today since this past April, when I did the Ukrop's 10k and the Ashland Railroad Run 5k. Today's race was a small local event to raise money for Pancreatic Cancer research. Apparently that is one of the cancers that there is no real early detection tests for. Which is why I guess that it seems to take people so quickly, because it's usually fairly advanced before it's discovered.

It was a beautiful day for a walk in the park. I signed up for the two mile option. We had a team from the gym, and I thought we were all going to walk together, which was the main reason I took the 2 mile option, because most of them did. But since we didn't walk in a group, and several of the ladies ran the 5k, I think next year I will choose the 5k. It was cool at first, my hands were actually cold walking from the parking lot to the starting area! And the humidity broke a little after the front that moved through yesterday, so it was great. The majority of the course was on a trail through the woods, so we weren't even in the direct sunlight. 

I need to get out on the road once a week or so. Gimpy foot has not been overly happy with me once I got off of it and it cooled down. I believe I am going to sign up for the training team when I sign up for an 8k that is part of the Richmond Marathon in November. The Sunday runs are outside and will definitely be time spent on pavement. I did find it interesting that considering I was running this week and gimpy foot didn't complain, a little two mile walk bothered it. I guess it really does show you the difference between treadmill running and road running. 

I completed the two miles in 36:58, so my pace is still about the same from April, which is great because a) I haven't been training for any races, including this one and b) I haven't spend as much time walking as I used to, I had been doing other cardio instead.It's kind of exciting, personally. I'm signed up for The Color Run in September, and since I'm working on the C25k program, that means my time should be even better! I don't think I'll be running the whole thing I'll only be on week four of the program, of course, adrenaline can make you do some crazy things. 

I ended up taking a nap this afternoon, which NEVER happens anymore. Crazy. I'll probably be up all night, but you never know. I could have just needed the extra rest, with adjusting to the running and all. Tomorrow is a rest/ schoolwork day So that will be nice. We're looking at a very pleasant, mild week here, and after a grey dreary week I can't wait for some sun!

I hope you have a great week as well! 

Happy Friday, Peeps!

From my SparkPeople blog:

I fully intended blogging more during this challenge, but my work week picked up a little bit, and so did my evenings. But I have so enjoyed reading and commenting on my challenge mates' blogs. 

Yesterday was my first day of school. I've never done online classes before, so I'm both excited and nervous. I did the first of three assignments for the week, and that one was super easy! We just had to get on the class discussion board and introduce ourselves to the class. I'd say at this point I'm pretty comfortable on a message board. Thanks Spark! 

I had been experimenting with new tracker this week, since you can go back and forth between them, now, and I really feel like it was giving me too many calories a day. I was always under, because it was recommending 2700-3000 a day! OMG! So I put it back to the old way, and I just let the fitness tracker yell at me for having too many calories burned. Since my FitBit is synced up to it, I rarely go over there anywhere. It's like the online version of sticking my fingers in my ears and shouting "LALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Food has been overall good this week. I've stayed in my calorie ranges, even though a couple of the meals weren't strictly healthy. But that's real life, you know! 

Exercise has been wonderful! I finished the first week of my C25k program yesterday, and I'm looking forward to starting week two. I have realized that I could proably bump the speed up a little, but honestly, I'm going for time more so than distance right now. I'm finishing each session, and that's what I need, just to finish. I can work on speed later. Today's little win was taking two minutes off my stationary bike 10k. My gym has bikes from the Octane brand, and they have a program that instead of doing your workout for X amount of minutes, you just keep going until you "ride" a 10k. today I got it done in 26:35!  

Did a little mid-week peep at the scale, and if I can maintain where it's at until my official weigh-in Monday, I'll have some very exciting news! I should really make my offiical weigh in days on Thursdays. I always have the best numbers on Thursdays! 

Tomorrow I am walking in Richmond's "Moovin' and Groovin' event. There is a 2 miler and a 5k. While I am more than capable of completing a 5k, there is a whole group of ladies from the gym walking in the 2 miler, so I am doing that race with them tomorrow. I'm super excited. If I get out of work on time, I'm going to go ahead and pick up my race packet tonight, so I don't have to fool with it in the morning. 

Welp, my desk is picking back up, so I should go for now. I'll tell you guys all about the race tomorrow. Hopefully all the rain that is falling right now is getting it out of it's system and we have a dry morning! 

Have a wonderful evening, everyone! 
Smooches!! 

Weekend update/Healthy Living Challenge

Today was my HLC kick off. I've been having a lot of fun reading posts and blogs and trying to get to know the people participating. I'm looking forward to the next few weeks!

I'm so close to the 30 pounds down mark. It will be my first major milestone hit, so I was a little bummed when I got on the scale this morning and I was actually three pounds UP this week. I didn't think I flubbed this past weekend that badly, but apparently I did. That's ok, though, I'm just going to keep working the process, and trust that the process with start working for me. I know that slow and steady is better than dramatic anyway. It's like waiting for Christmas morning to come though- when you're this close!

I started a C25k program this morning. It was actually one that I used a few years ago with a small degree of success. I'm so different than I was then, though. I've spent the past four or five months exercising consistently, so I think I'm really ready for such a huge endeavor this time. We shall see, won't me. It certainly felt good to jog this morning, that's for sure! I'm going to have to do Day Two tomorrow, though, because there's a class I want to take at the gym Wednesday, and I won't have time to do both.

Did a little bit of shopping this weekend, and we wandered in to Old Navy, since they were having a killer jeans sale. I knew I really wasn't going to actually fit in any pants in-store, but I went ahead and grabbed a pair of size 20 skinny jeans, and they got up further than I anticipated them going, so I'll take it. Since I couldn't get any jeans, I picked up two pairs of desperately needed work out pants. I was happy this morning when I put on the first pair, and they fit just perfect. Most XXL work out pants I can swing no problem, but these were compression pants, and I wasn't sure how they were going to work. So yipee! New workout clothes. Now it will take me a few days longer before I'm back to being the smelly girl at the gym. (We don't have a washer/dryer in our apartment, so I tend to stretch things a little past when I shoud before hitting the laundromat)

I've been worried about my best friend. She's going through something, and I know she's not in the greatest of places right now. Unfortunately there's really not much I can do until she's ready to reach out, other than just keep reminding her that I'm here for her, and worrying about her. It's tough when you can't help someone you love.

I didn't get everything accomplished this weekend that I wanted to. One of these days I'm really going to get around to cleaning the bathroom. And bathing the cat. I swear it!

the first day of this challenge has gone well, here to many more successful ones! Go Storms!

Catch up post

I've been so neglectful of my little blog here lately. Mostly I've just been busy... getting healthy! After I completed the 10k I still continued going to the gym. I have found that for whatever completely mental reason that going to the gym in the mornings works for me. Cause I'm not a morning person. I have to MAKE myself go to bed early enough to make sure I'm getting at least six hours of sleep. I love the morning ladies, and the morning staff (if you can call the one woman there in the morning staff ;)) I love love love starting my day off on the right foot. It makes it so much easier to make better choices during the day. I love knowing that whatever else happens that day, I made my work out.

The down side was that for a few months I did get caught in that trap of thinking, "I worked out today, so I can eat whatever I want". Couple that with some looooong days/weeks in the office, barely leaving my seat, and the 25 pounds I had lost came right back over to say hi. I like to tell people that I am a walking example that is doesn't matter how much you work out, it really is much more important what you put in your face.

Fast forward to July. I signed up for a four week boot camp at the gym. They gave us a food and exercise journal to track with during the boot camp. Since I didn't want to get out of my morning routine, or give up my sacred mornings, I decided to keep that part of my routine, and just come back for a second dose for the boot camp classes, which were in the evenings. We also had Saturday and Sunday classes. The gym isn't normally open on Sundays, so that was a special thing, just for us. I only ever missed the 15 minute Helix sessions, because they were always full, and the first Monday class (I signed up late, so that class was full by the time I made up my mind to sign up). So I exercised every day, and four times a week twice a day, for an entire month! I was definitely ready for a rest day, and that is not something I could do all the time, but I'm so glad I did it! It really helped jump start me back on program. I also discovered that even though I track on SparkPeople, that the act of physically writing down my food and exercise on paper, seems to really work for me. So even though boot camp is over, I'm still using the journal. It's got something like five months worth of weeks you can fill out. I don't know what I'm going to do when it's full! I'll have to find another one!

So where am I at today? I'm back on a steady losing streak. I'm 27 pounds down as of this past Monday. I'm pretty sure I've never lost this much weight before without backsliding. I'm knocking on the door of 30 pounds lost, which I'm waiting to hit to really get excited. I took a sneak peek on the scale Thursday, and if I don't totally blow it this weekend, then I should be there Monday! I've never been so excited for a Monday before!!

Monday also officially starts a Healthy Living Challenge that I signed up for on one of my SparkPeople boards.I'm really trying to participate. Not just in making sure I do whatever challenges they have for us, but really invest myself in my team and get involved with the other people participating. Maybe I can make some new friends by the end of this.

I'm not a success story yet. Yet. However, I have such a positive outlook, and I want to share it. It's amazing how much just taking care of myself has brought me back to my natural optimistic ways. I know people have to think I'm obnoxious. I can't help it. As cheesy as it seems, it's really in my nature to try and find the silver lining in everything. I'm pretty sure that's why my old team hated me so much at work, because I wouldn't get bogged down in the negativity and commiserate with how "terrible" everything way. Or because I'm a bitch. You know, one or the other.

But that's not why we're here, now, is it? I took a class this morning at the gym. The owner is the instructor ( I soooo want to be her when I grow up) and she calls it Cardio Party. It's just a good, back to basics floor aerobics class. No steps, no equipment, no gimmicks. Just moving your body and having a good time. I got 6,000 steps in that 45 minute class! Then she followed it up with a core class. There is so much joy in just using your body and working up a good sweat. And while I was by no means any kind of coordinated in class, about half way through I noticed that I felt so light on my feet today! What a wonderful new experience! I need to remember that feeling Monday, when I work up the nerve to start a C25k program. It is time. I know it is. I just need to bite the bullet and get over the fear.

I suppose I have rambled on enough for one blog. I'm looking forward to getting back into it, now that I've gotten myself back into a more sane routine. I hope you have a wonderful day!