Spread the love, not the hate

I was flipping through Facebook on my lunch break, and I run across this status from Molly Galbraith on my feed:

 

"When we have grace and compassion for our own bodies, then we afford that same grace and compassion to others. We don't need to insult anyone's body to feel better about our own."

 

I love this. So I shared it with a shorter version of what this will probably become. Spark even recently highlighted an article that Molly wrote on this topic, which is what led to my following her on Facebook.

 

All of these thinspo, fitspo, etc. posters and memes and how they claim "real" women (or men, for that matter) look need to stop. I'm sick of being told I'm less of a person because I don't have a six-pack (and I never will without surgery, even after the weight is gone) or my thighs touch and my belly wobbles. There's some girl out there in Facebook land, she's overweight and has pink hair and she works out with just a sports bra on, sans shirt. And I think she's brilliant. I wish I had half her guts. Because it doesn't matter what she looks like. She's getting it done.

 

We're all different and we need to stop shaming each other into a certain size or appearance. Lose weight for you and your health. Get fit for your heart and that glorious sense of accomplishment. Lift for your bones and your metabolism. Not because some airbrushed model on a poster told you you're less of a woman because you don't. But because you love yourself.

 

Don't get me wrong. I still struggle, daily, with my outward appearance. I know in my soul that it doesn't matter how I look. My mom, husband, friends all love me for me. I know that my real reason for getting healthy is because my family's history of dying young scares the bejesus out of me. Also, because when we do make that leap to parenthood I want the best chances of having a healthy, uneventful pregnancy and birth, and I want to teach my kid to have a healthy relationship with food by leading through example. But there's always a mirror, window or other reflective surface somewhere that I pass that catches me the wrong way, or some article of clothing is fighting with me and making me feel like the world's ugliest oompa loompa. I also have days (like today, surprisingly, even though my dress is making me uncomfortable because I swear its getting shorter by the hour!) where I think that maybe I don't look so bad after all. I had a thought today that my legs are starting to actually look good! Tomorrow may be a totally different story. But ultimately, I'm not doing it for my legs. I'm doing it for my whole body, especially the bits inside that you can't see and can't be measured by a dress size.

 

My point is this. We need to empower each other for a change, and stop having pissing contests to see who is the "most woman". We compete so hard with each other. What if we spent that energy in building each other up? I'm not saying you have to like everyone, but you also don't have to tear down anyone. I wouldn't have gotten even this far if it wasn't for some of the unconditional love and support I've had from my family, friends and fellow gym members.

 

The people who insist on calling me a runner, even though I'm just jogging short intervals. Folks who ask me how much weight have I lost now, when there's no possible way I look any different at that moment. The ones who insist on calling me pretty when I know they're just biased cause they've known me half my life. Hearing someone is impressed or inspired by me, when I still have so so far to go in my journey. This is the positive reinforcement we need to start embracing. I forget sometimes, but I try to tell at least one person everyday something positive. Even if it's just that I like their shirt. Positive breeds positive, and when you are surrounded by positivity, you thrive. We all do. And the world gives back what you put into it.

 

Thanks for letting me rant. Now go out there and spread some positive karma! Love you guys!